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I know what you’re really thinking – only three days until St. Patrick’s Day! Well, not to distract you from thoughts of green beer and even greener projectile vomit the next morning, but we got a racing season coming up. Yes, folks, the IndyCars are seeing actual, legitimate track time – first at Sebring earlier [...]

Spring Training is upon us, and already Will Power is lighting up the track. No, seriously, the guy is on fire. Really. Like, he has had two car fires in two days. Not quite to tighty-whities stage, but it’s getting a little stupid, I think. But I digress. The Honda and Chevy teams are vying [...]

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THIS IS AN AUSPICIOUS OCCASION – THE FIRST (AND PROBABLY LAST) LEAP YEAR EDITION OF THE PADDOCK PULSE! In honor of this singular event, I present to you the following image: Oh yes, people, we spare NO EXPENSE here at Pop Off Valve. (We tried to get a jet dryer and blow [...]

It’s February, everyone! And did you know it’s Leap Year this year? That means that everyone who was ever born on February 29th gets to have their sadly all-too-rare birthday parties! I’ve been invited to a few of those parties over the years, but I usually don’t go because the skeeve factor is pretty high. [...]

So yesterday was Pressdog‘s and Charles Dickens’ birthday. That’s some pretty RARIFIED AIR in terms of writing talent right there. I’m a little sad that the Pulse rolls the day after such a special literary day, but hey, you have to give the masters their due. Then again, you have all of those readers out [...]

So today is the big SOPA Protest Day, and instead of writing the Paddock Pulse I’m probably supposed to be writing to my congressman imploring him to vote against the bill. What is SOPA? I’d tell you, except that Wikipedia is offline today to protest SOPA, so I don’t actually know. It sounds like the [...]

One of the toughest parts of coming back from a holiday break is breaking yourself of the habit of sleeping in late, eating anything you want, and letting your brain turn into some sort of mushy fungus that looks – and thinks – like a giant Portobello mushroom. The intellectual vacuum created by a couple [...]

Happy New Year, everyone! It’s time to wipe the slate clean and begin a new year filled with optimism and happinOMIGODTHEREARENTENOUGHOVALSANDBARFIELDISANASSANDTHEDW12ISAPIG– Ack! Sorry, folks, old habits die hard (although those are not necessarily my habits). Anyway, welcome back from the holidays, everyone. Right now, depending on what time of day you’re reading this, you’re either [...]

I was going to go on and on about today being Pearl Harbor Day, and how appropriate the phrase “A day which will live in infamy…” was to describe another issue of the Paddock Pulse. Then I remembered that Pearl Harbor happened 70 years ago and that the 18-34 demographic that SBN so desperately covets [...]

So here we are with the last Paddock Pulse of 2011, and let me just say that I’m gonna miss publishing it next week when I… when I… AW WHO AM I KIDDING – I am going to be lying around my house in my pajamas, unshaven, unshowered, and too busy basking in the fact [...]